


The Smurf Menace Redux

by cap_n_port



Series: Naughty AU [1]
Category: Les Schtroumpfs | The Smurfs
Genre: Alternate Universe - Evil, Evil Twins, Gen, but how do i say "an evil clone made by magic", technically neither of those tags abt evil is correct, vanity's reflection clone is named century, yknow?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:14:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26881990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cap_n_port/pseuds/cap_n_port
Summary: In our first installment of the Naughty!AU, we don't differ too much from an official Smurfs comic book. However, this is important to the storyline of the AU, as it sets it up.
Series: Naughty AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1961275
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

It was a lovely, normal day in Smurf Forest, a perfect day for three smurfs to pick smurfberries. Well, it had been perfect, until Century's hand bumped into Tuffy's.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Tuffy snapped. "This is my bush, go get your own!"

"Your bush?" Century said. "These berry bushes belong to everysmurf, you know."

"Well, I smurfed this one first!" Tuffy yelled.

"Gosh, y'all," Clumsy said. "Let's not smurf over this. We got plenty of bushes t' pick from."

"You stay out of this, Clumsy!" said Tuffy.

"Don't talk t'me like that!" Clumsy responded, hands on his hips.

"You're both so dreadfully rude!" Century said.

"That's it!" Tuffy yelled, launching himself at Century. "You're going down, mirrorboy!"

"Stop it!" Clumsy yelled, distressed, trying to pull the fighting smurfs apart. He didn't have to, though, as they stopped fighting when they heard a voice.

"Well, well, well. What have we here?" Five creatures stood nearby. Century would have called them smurfs, if it wasn't for their gray skin, like it had been leached of all color. "Go ahead!" The speaker said, sneering. "Keep fighting! We don't want to bother you."

"Well, golly," Clumsy said. "I've never seen other smurfs 'round here before."

"Smurfs?" Tuffy scoffed, standing up and brushing himself off. "If they're smurfs, I feel bad for them."

"Who are you?" Century asked, standing up as well.

"That's none of your business!" said another gray smurf. "What we want to know is why you're stealing our smurfberries."

Tuffy crossed his arms. "How are these your smurfberries?"

"This land is the property of our village!" said yet another gray smurf. "And you're here without authorization!"

"These smurfberries are ours!" Tuffy yelled. "They belong to everysmurf!"

"We'll see about that!" Yelled the gray smurf with a belt. "Come on, naughties! Let's get them!"

There were five naughties- for that was what they were called- to three smurfs, and the smurfs were not prepared to fight. Clumsy was taken down near instantly, as he tripped directly into the naughties' clutches and was knocked out by a naughty with a snaggletooth that poked over his bottom lip. The rest of the naughties focused on Tuffy, who was a whirlwind of punches and kicks and bites. Century snuck away as the naughties forced Tuffy to the ground and knocked him out.

"Hey!" Snaggletooth said. "That one's getting away!"

"Let him go, he's not even a real smurf," A naughty with a wilted flower pinned on his hat said, in a voice so soft Century had to strain to hear it. Many thoughts rushed through his mind once he did. How did they know that about him? Who were these "naughties?" What were they after? His thoughts were interrupted, however, as Wilted Flower began to speak again. "Let's bring these two back to our Leader. He'll be sure to be proud."

"You heard the naughty." Another one said. "Tie them up, and let's go."

The naughties did just that, a few pulling rope out of their hats and tying up the smurfs' arms and legs. Then off they went, Snaggletooth and Wilted Flower carrying Clumsy, and Belt and another naughty carrying Tuffy. The fifth led the way.  
Century followed after them, blending into the forest. He couldn't just let them take those smurfs. It wasn't long until he saw where they were heading- another smurf village? A stone wall was being built around it. This couldn't be good. Century did an about face and darted back into the forest, off to tell Papa Smurf what had happened and get some reinforcements.

* * *

Clumsy was the first to come awake again, and he looked around with wonder. The naughties surrounding them seemed just like the smurfs back home, but gray, and their eyes shined an unnatural red. The naughties carrying him and Tuffy unceremoniously dropped them, which woke Tuffy up.

"Let him loose," the leader of the five-man band said, pointing at Clumsy. "I'll go tell the Leader."

"But what about him?" said the fourth naughty, pointing to Tuffy. The five-man band's leader crossed his arms.

"Ask me that again and look into my eyes." Clumsy looked up, and saw that Tuffy had given that naughty a black eye. He giggled. Served him right!

"Oh, gosh, Tuffy," Clumsy said once Black Eye had left and his bonds had been cut. "Y'sure did a number on that one. What d'ya think they'll smurf t'us? D'ya think..." he lowered his voice. "...torture?"

"They can sure try!" Tuffy said, straining against his restraints. "I'll smurf them six ways to next Sunday!"

"I find," said a familiar voice, "Torture is an inefficient method of getting things done." Papa Smurf? Clumsy looked up. Oh, no, this was not Papa Smurf. They shared the same voice, red clothes, and white beard, but this was where the similarities ended. The naughty had gray skin, of course, and his red eyes matched his clothes. A wicked and devious sharp-toothed grin shone through his beard, and Clumsy gulped. Beside Clumsy, Tuffy stilled. "I find," Not-Papa continued, "It's far easier to ask politely. Torture can come when they refuse to obey."

"What are we going to do with them, oh amazing and mighty Leader?" asked a naughty, peering at Clumsy through thick glasses that just made his blood-red eyes seem more threatening. Familiar, but unlike Not-Papa, not familiar enough to recognize. He grinned, his sharp teeth resembling that of a hungry shark. "Can I have this one?"

"Smurfing try it!" Tuffy yelled, trying again to escape his restraints. "I'll smurfing wreck you, you rat bastard!"

Laughter sounded through the naughties, some of whom echoed Tuffy's words. "Rat bastard..." "Rat bastard..." "He really is a rat bastard..."

"I wasn't talking about you," Glasses said disdainfully. "You can die, for all I care." He looked back at the Leader. "Can I have him, please, oh glorious and brilliant Leader?"

"No." the Leader said, not even looking at him. "No, you cannot. I have something else in mind for these two."

Clumsy gulped. _Papa Smurf, please come save us!_ He thought.


	2. Chapter 2

"Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf!" Century came running into the village. "Papa Smurf, it's a smurftastrophe!"

"Calm down, my little smurf," Papa said. "What is it? What's happened?"

"We were picking smurfberries," Century said, "and then these other smurfs, grey smurfs, showed up, and then they attacked us, and they smurfed away Tuffy and Clumsy to their village!"

"Other smurfs?" Papa said. "But we're the only smurfs."

"Apparently not anymore!" Century said. He turned back around to run off. "Follow me, I'll show you!"

"Hm. Well, Tuffy and Clumsy aren't with him, and he's not the type to pull pranks."

"No," Jokey said, "That's my job!" He pulled open a present box, which exploded, and he laughed. Papa Smurf sighed, exasperated.

"Brainy, Hefty, and Jokey. You three come with me, we'll see what this is all about."

It was soon enough that the smurfs made it to the village of the naughties. The stone wall surrounding the village seemed even more intimidating to Century now, his friends trapped within. Hefty grimaced as Brainy, terrified, clung onto his arm almost tight enough to cut off circulation. Papa Smurf looked worried. Jokey, really, was the only one unfazed.

"You see, Papa Smurf?" Century said, gesturing. At the opening in the wall, two naughties stood guard. One wore a straw hat, and the other had a skull-and-crossbones tattoo on his upper arm.

Papa Smurf nodded. "You were right, Century. Other smurfs...! I never thought I'd see the day."

"But, Papa," Brainy said, "who are these smurfs? Where are they from?"

"I'm not sure, Brainy." Papa responded. "We should wish them a warm welcome to our forest."

"But- Clumsy, and Tuffy-"

"Trust me, Brainy. Trust me."

And so it was that those five smurfs headed up to the gate guards.

"Who goes there?!" Skull-And-Crossbones yelled, swinging a large twig around wildly.

"Oi," Straw Hat said, "Calm down, ya big galoot."

"Don't worry!" Papa Smurf called as the smurfs approached. "We are neighbors, and we come in peace and friendship!"

"Don't be movin' from 'ere," Straw Hat said. "I'll go and get our leader- actually," He gestured to Skull-And-Crossbones, "Can youse go find him?"

"Why me?" Skull-And-Crossbones said, crossing his arms.

"If youse be stayin' 'ere, dat means dese fine folks might get hurt. I do not be trustin' youse." Skull-And-Crossbones rolled his eyes, but headed into the gates anyways. Straw Hat murmured under his breath, and took a drag from a cigar he hadn't had mere moments before.

"Hey!" Brainy said. "That's bad for your health!" Straw Hat puffed out smoke rings, ignoring Brainy. It wasn't long before Skull-And-Crossbones returned with the naughties' Leader, who- to the smurfs' surprise- looked an awful lot like Papa Smurf. Papa felt he was looking in an imperfect mirror, and in the back of his mind started to formulate several possible theories.

"What is it that you want?" Not-Papa said.

"We've come to welcome you to the forest," Papa responded, "and to ask for the return of our smurfs whom you smurfed by mistake."

"By mistake?" Not-Papa raised an eyebrow. "They're thieves. They took our smurfberries."

"Those smurfberries belong to everysmurf," Papa said. "Anysmurf can smurf them."

"That may have been true before we arrived here," Not-Papa said. "But now, they're ours."

"You said, 'before we arrived,'" Hefty interrupted. "Where did you come from?"

"From very far away," Not-Papa said. "Anyhow, that's none of your business." He addressed Papa again. "You should teach your smurfs to respect their elders and not interrupt."

"I'll keep that in mind," Papa said. "Anyways, we came to smurf you a few presents as a gesture of welcome." Behind him, Brainy and Century picked up some of the gift boxes Jokey had brought, Brainy holding his up to hide his face behind it.

"You want to purchase your smurfs' freedom?" Not-Papa said incredulously. "Do you think a few trinkets will make me change my mind?"

"It's a sign of a good leader to be able to be magnamious," Papa replied calmly.

"Hmph. I suppose it's alright this time. But we had better not catch them there again." Not-Papa waved his hand at Straw Hat and Skull-And-Crossbones. "Go get the prisoners." The two guards headed inside the gates. When Straw Hat came back, he was leading Clumsy. Clumsy was unharmed and unbound, and when he saw the smurfs he started running towards them, tripping over a rock and landing flat on his face. He pushed himself off the ground with a grin.

"Brainy! Hefty! Jokey! Y'all came t'rescue us too?!"

"And the other one?" Papa Smurf asked. Straw Hat gestured towards the gates, where Skull-And-Crossbones was coming through holding a gagged and bound Tuffy like a sack of potatoes. "...Oh."

"He bit B- uh." Skull-And-Crossbones looked at Not-Papa, who very slightly shook his head. "He bit another naughty. He's lucky it wasn't one I like, or you wouldn't be able to recognize his corpse." Skull-And-Crossbones placed Tuffy down and removed the gag, prompting Tuffy to go on a vulgar, ranting tirade about what the various ways he wanted to harm and injure the naughties. Papa Smurf untied the ropes around his arms and legs while Straw Hat and Skull-And-Crossbones stepped back to form a protective barrier between the belted smurf and their leader.

"We'll smurf a little party among friends tomorrow evening," Papa Smurf said as the smurfs left. "Would you do us the pleasure of coming?"

"We'll see about that," Not-Papa said.

On the way back to the smurfs' village, Century asked Papa Smurf, "But what about the smurfberries?"

"There are plenty of smurfberries all over the forest," Papa responded, "they can smurf that one patch if they would like to."

"I don't trust those smurfs," Hefty muttered.

"They're a little strange, that's all," said Papa. But, truth be told, he wasn't sure if he could trust them, either.


	3. Chapter 3

The next evening, the party occurred. Lanterns were strung between houses, tables set up with food, and several smurfs were playing musical instruments, so there was good music to dance to. Most smurfs had forgotten all about the naughties, and were just having fun. That is, until the naughties showed up. There were many of them, all led by Not-Papa. Surprisingly, there was a female among the naughties. This "Naughty-ette" resembled Smurfette in appearance, wearing a similar dress and shoes, and having long black hair.

"I see that you decided to join us," Papa said, as the naughties filed in.

"I can decide to do that when I want to."

"Of course," Papa replied. "Welcome!" He said as Naughtyette passed him. She said nothing, sticking her nose up in the air with a small "hmph!" and clutching onto the arm of a naughty whose hat flopped over and covered up his eyebrows. Papa Smurf watched in confusion as she walked away. "Um, well, smurfs, we have guests. Welcome them and treat them as you would members of our own village."

A smurf wearing a chef's hat and a bib that appeared to be stained with ink walked up to one of the food tables, and placed a pot full of some grayish-pinkish substance down.

"Mmm-mm!" Greedy Smurf said. "What kind of food is that?"

"It's meat," Chef Hat said. Greedy tilted his head in confusion.

"What kind of meat?"

Chef Hat grinned, displaying his sharp teeth, which made Greedy back off. "It's artificial- magically created. Haven't you always been curious about what meat tastes like? Try some."

"Um," Greedy said, already having stuffed a cupcake into his mouth, "I think I'd rather not."

"Suit yourself," Chef Hat replied.

Meanwhile, the smurflings were hanging out at the party, making the most of their time before bed.

"Nasty narwhals," Sassette said, "something's wrong here."

"No way, Sassette!" Snappy said. "It's just adults being adults!"

"No, no, I can tell." Sassette pointed to Not-Papa. "Doesn't their leader look like Pappy?" The smurflings muttered their assent, and Sassette pointed to Naughtyette, who was now on her own. "And doesn't she look just like Smurfette?"

"Smurfaroo, you're right," Nat said. They watched as Hefty came over with a drink, which he handed to her. She smiled, gently touching his arm and talking in a low, quiet voice. Flirting with him, but the smurflings didn't know that. "She sure doesn't act like Smurfette, though. Are you sure she wasn't just made the same way as you and Smurfette?"

"But, their leader looks like Pappy!" Sassette said. "And look over there, those two are basically mirror images..."

At one of the tables, Brainy was talking with Glasses, Clumsy in the background grabbing some smurfberry tarts. Brainy and Glasses shared many interests, and both had told the other that they were their leader's second in command. As the smurflings watched, Floppy Hat walked over, placing his hand on Glasses' shoulder.

"Golly, Brainy," Floppy Hat said, "Is this th' other us y'all've been talkin' 'bout? They're jus' as cute an' innocent as y'said!"

Immediately, the party fell silent, even the music coming to an unceremonious "whomp" of an end as everysmurf stared at the naughty that had been addressed by Brainy's name, and his friend who had addressed him by that name. The real Clumsy stopped in his tracks with a tart halfway to his mouth.

The silence was broken by Sassette's voice, speaking to the other smurflings- "I told you something was up!"

"Clumsy," Glasses said, gritting his sharp teeth, "What was it we were told about 'staying incognito?'"

"Don't tell... the... oh." Floppy Hat looked around, aware of all the eyes on him. "Gosh, sorry... can y'all just pretend y'didn't hear that?"

"No," Brainy said, "I'm pretty smurftain we all heard that."

"Please," Not-Papa cut in, pulling Glasses and Floppy Hat away from the table, "Ignore these two fools. They don't know what they're talking about."

An awkward silence fell over the party. After Not-Papa had gotten through with lecturing Glasses and Floppy Hat, he went to talk with Papa Smurf, and the smurflings were hustled off to bed. The band started up their music again, but nobody felt like dancing. Brainy claimed he had a headache and went to bed early, and Clumsy soon left as well out of the sheer discomfort of an alternate version of himself calling him innocent.

* * *

Here's what had actually happened- the naughties' village had been created by an enemy of the smurfs, with the hope that the naughties would fight the smurfs and they would cancel each other out. Naughties held the bad traits of the smurfs, many of their good traits warped into bad traits, and were willing to act on secret evil desires smurfs would never voice. Naughties could heal very fast, with even the most serious cuts healing up into a small bruise, but if their original died, they would as well.

Here's what Not-Papa told Papa Smurf- the naughties had been created several weeks ago when their entire village appeared as a magical clone of the smurfs' village. They meant the smurfs no harm and simply wanted to keep existing and form their own identities. Their gray skin, red eyes, and sharp teeth? Why, Not-Papa knew nothing about why they had been created that way. What about Not-Hefty's tattoo? Oh, that was just an attempt to make himself unique! These naughties were perfectly normal, don't worry! They simply wanted to form their own identities away from the originals.

Here's what Papa Smurf told the village- These naughties came from far away. It was a coincidence that those two naughties were so similar to Brainy and Clumsy. Clumsy had been one of the ones captured, so of course a naughty who knew someone so similar would tell that person, because wasn't it interesting how similar circumstances could create such similar people?

Here's what Clumsy Smurf knew- He hadn't told any of the naughties his name. Also, Not-Clumsy had said Not-Brainy had been talking about "the other us," but neither naughty had seen Brainy until the party.

No smurf believed what Papa had told them for a second. They all knew he had the best intentions for everysmurf, though, so they let it go. Clumsy shrugged it off, assuming that the cruel words he had heard in the village were jokes he just didn't understand, and Tuffy was pretty violent himself, so he expected others to be as well.


End file.
